Yep, it happened to me. I am not too proud to admit it either. When you have MS you learn that you have to give up all pride. You have to be willing to accept that you human and things are going to happen to you. I will laugh at those things. You have to laugh or you will become a mental midget.
I am not too proud to tell you about the things that I go through or experience. MS is a brutal thing to have. It is not a picnic or a day at Disney. It robs you of everything. Energy, thoughts, breath, sleep, hunger, pride, esteem, enthusiasm, and so much more.
My mind says that I can do this and I can do that. But the minute I stand up my body says different. I just got put back on Aubagio so I am hoping that I can get some relief. I hope that I can get to the point where I am not going through so many symptoms. I will never be myself again but I want this to slow down some. It is aggressive. I just want it to slow the fuck down!!!
So there is this thing called the MS FOG. You suddenly forget what you are doing, saying, or going. You are in a fog. You stutter in attempt to find the words you want to say. You stumble trying to figure out how to make your mind get to where you want it to be. You know what you want to do and say but nothing is cooperating with you.
You know that you want a drink of water in your favorite cup but all you can say is that you want fluid in a sippy thingy. Alot of times all you can do is get frustrated and point.
So back to my relapse.
I was going to go get my prescriptions. I was feeling pretty good really. I went out to the truck. I couldn’t get in to it. It wasn’t parked in the usual spot so it was higher than usual. I tried to get in it but I was being attacked by the fire ants something fierce!!!
I had to relent and head back to the house. I made it to the car trailer where I had to set down for a few minutes. I then made it to the front porch. Again I had to sit down and get my strength back. I all of a sudden started getting rumblings in my stomach. (good ole side effects of the medication I am taking for MS).. Geesus not now!!
I gathered up all of my strength and speed and hurried up the ramp and unlocked my door and as I was waddling to my bathroom I was losing all control of my bowels. Yep today was not my day. I made it to the bathroom and I grabbed my extra large wipes and began the cleanup. While this was taking place who should call me but my loving hubby.. I can’t let on what is going on.
This is race weekend and it is the only time he can escape it all. He can escape work, me and any other stress he might have. He needs this. He does so much for me and he needs this outlet. He worries about me so damn much. I will not take this away from him. So I talk to him about other things.
Back to the matter at hand. I finally get all cleaned up and I thank God for the extra large wipes because they are a God send let me tell you!!! I make it into my bedroom and I try to sit down on my bed and I don’t have enough strength to quite make it and I slide off. I am now on the floor, not where I wanted to be because I will never be able to get myself up from here.
Thank God I have a basket of clothes near me. I get semi dressed. I put a few things in my rollator (walker). I am going to crawl out to the living room and see if I can get into the recliner. Well guess what? I can’t remember how to get up? That’s the funny thing about MS. It stops certain messages from getting to certain areas needed.
I know that I have to get on my knees, then I have to get on one leg and then grab unto the cushions but I cannot for the life of me remember what to do next? Maybe I need to switch legs? Maybe I don’t grab the cushion, maybe I grab the arms? But whatever it is I cannot figure out what to do next. For three hours I am stumped.
I sit on the floor and I wait until I hopefully remember. I watch TV. I read a book. I play on my tablet. I keep trying. I want to get in the recliner before Rick gets home so he is none of the wiser but that doesn’t look like it is going to happen. He comes home, and I explain just a minimal amount of information that I can’t remember how to get up.
He does not want to know anything more and I didn’t want to tell him anything more. He thus explained to me how to get up. So now I know. Duh….. Oh guess what UPS delivered today? My new wheelchair!!! It was delivered while I was on the floor.. Funny huh???!!! I was laughing..it was ironic and just perfect for the day.
But hey Rick reminded me that I at least accomplished a chore off of my list. I dusted the floors!!! 🤣🌝You gotta laugh at it!!!
If you have lemons, make lemonade!!!