As mothers day has come and gone, I have been reflecting on my own experiences as a mom and also as a daughter.. Each year I send my mom a mothers day card and a birthday card. The two days fall within a couple of days of each other.
Each day is a special day and each day gets a card and a check for $25.00. She sends me the same thing for my birthday, it’s a running gag that we have. Her thing is each day gets a separate present because they are separate occasions
I also call her on each day. Because she deserves to be called. I talk to her about everything and anything on those calls. She is my mom she deserves to be treated like a queen on those days. Even if I can’t be there, I will still make sure that she knows that I love her.
Granted she doesn’t do text messages nor does she have a computer so she doesn’t do emails. I still wouldn’t send her those. I would still send her the cards and I would call her .In fact she has dementia and has no idea who I am anymore but I still send her the cards and I call her.
She may not know me anymore but I still know her and I will continue to let her know that I am thinking of her. She deserves to know that. She is still my mother and I her daughter. That will never change. Even though she doesn’t remember to send me cards that is ok. I know that she would if she could.
It does hurt like hell that she does not remember me but just hearing her voice is enough because I know that there will come a time when I will no longer be able to hear her voice any more. I will have nothing but memories. So I will take what I can at the moment.
Now for the mothers curse…
My oldest daughter sent me a present and text Generally I only get a text. I usually get a text from both of my daughters, but I never get a card or presents. Yet this year I didn’t even get a a text from my youngest daughter. I want to say that I am ok with this set up but I am not. Each year is the same thing. And each time I am hurt.
However, each one of them have kids and they are close to their kids as I am. They do not think that their children will do this to them. They will not be hurt by their children. But they will be. They will be sitting there waiting for the mail to come
So let me be honest with you and break your little bubble. I will reveal the harshest part of the curse that no one speaks of.
When you don’t call your mom on those special days, it does break her heart. She may tell you that it is ok and it is fine. She is lieing to you. Yep, your mom lied to you!! She was waiting by the phone all day, she held unto her cell phone all day long just in case you called She never was too far away from her phone. She was hoping that you would have a few minutes, even seconds, to call her.
She may have said that it was OK that you didn’t send her a card but again she lied to you!! She was so hopeful each time she went to the mailbox that she would have a card waiting for her. But each time she was heartbroken..She bit her lip and acted like she was ok and strutted through her day. When her friends bragged about what they received, she smiled and said that they were so lucky.
When they asked her what she got, she lied..She either made up gifts or she made up excuses for how busy her children were in their lives..Either way she lied .All the while she was heartbroken and crying inside because she was forgotten by her children . The ones who she had always been there for and still is.
So silently she wishes that you go through what she does..That you experience the worse type of heartache ever. No mom or dad should ever feel this way.
So do me a favor and write your parents a letter and send them a $50.00 bill. You owe them way more than that. Tell them how you really feel, write from the heart and for God’s sake make it more than one damn page!!! This won’t lift the curse but it will make both of you feel so much better.. Your mom and dad deserve this much!!!