This is a wonderful side effect of the frickin IV infusions that I have been enduring for the past three days. I just lost almost 100 pounds and I vow that I will not gain any of that weight back at all!! This gawd awful MS is ravaging my life has it is and I will be damned if I allow it to destroy anymore of my self esteem.

I will keep a big bowl of light popcorn near me to snack on and I will have fruits and vegetables in the house. I will swallow my pride and put on my cute little adult underwear and pump out the water. I will not beef up because of this infusion series. I was told by the hubby that he noticed my walk wasn’t as jittery as it was. I noticed that too. However, I am getting numbness in my hands and feet.

Now am I not only dealing with those side effects but I get to deal with the new side effects of the pill that I am starting. Did I tell you how expensive MS is!?!?! Yea it is frickin slap your gramma and steal her gawdy jewelry expensive!! Kick her dawg and steal the collar for good measure expensive!!

I thought the cancer treatment my mother in law was going through was jaw dropping, out of this world crazy but MS is coming in a tight second if not beating it, depending on the treatment you are going through with MS. This is where you can get extremely discouraged and depressed about your health and life because you just hear the costs and wonder how you are going to pay for it all. Then you have your health insurance and your health care. It is so overwhelming.

I pride myself on being the strong person who is generally there for others. I can take a lot. I will defend others no matter what it is. I pride myself on being able to understand and handle things that others cannot. I am usually the advocate for others. I am the one who will listen to the doctor and pay attention to what they are saying. I will fill out the paperwork and send it it. So that person doesn’t have to worry about it.

Now I am that person who has to have someone else listen to the doctor because I am not able to make sense of what they are saying. I have to have someone else fill out the paperwork for me and send it in for me. I still am strong, I am just struggling. I am still there for others, I just need the help of others myself.

I am not who I was but I am still here. I am still Wendy. I just have Multiple Sclerosis. I will always have it. There is no cure for it. I appreciate the ideas and everything that family and friends are throwing my way regarding this disease. I am trying each and every one of them.

I am not close minded and I am willing to try your ideas because you never know what might ease my symptoms just a little. If I can ease it a tad then it was worth it. I am just tickled that they are taking the time to research the disease and find out what it is and how they can help me. The more familiar they are, the more they can help me with this process.

Because believe it or not, I am still learning how to handle this damn thing. Each day is a new adventure for me. Not every day is the same. I am trying to adjust the best way I know how. I will not make excuses to you. I will tell you the truth. I get tired a lot and easily. I can’t do things like I used to. I want to see you and I miss you. Please understand that.

And with each new medication come new side effects. So I ask you to understand. I am struggling with more than I am telling you.