I have been reading back through some of my posts and I decided that I need to bring some humor into your life and m life because it is not all dark and dreary. There are funny moments especially when it comes to me. Because trust me there is never a dull moment when it comes to me and my life. This includes the good and bad things that happen to me.
In spite of my pain I still manage to laugh every day. It is something that my hubby and I do every day. We just do it, no matter what. It is what I love. We joke about the MS too because I asked him too. He can’t walk on eggs or be so damn serious about it. I started the jokes and he fell right in with it.
There’s one good thing about having MS and that is the ability to get great parking spots. However, living in Florida you can pretty much burn your handicap placard because Florida is nothing but handicap people!!! You are competing with q-tips all the time for the best spots!! (q-tips are old people, people with white hair ).. The whole state is senior citizens who have handicap placards because they are disabled for one reason or another.
MS is my “get out of jail free” card so to speak. If I don’t want to go somewhere, then I can use it as an excuse not to go. If people want to stay at our house, we can say no because of the ms. If we are out somewhere and things are going caput, then we can escape it by using my ms as an the ruse.
I don’t have the smoothest walk and it is even worse when I have my braces on. I joke about it and call myself a “gimpy tard”. I am in no way insulting anyone else. I choose to make fun of myself and I apologize if I offended anyone. I have what could be classified as a zombie walk well it is more like a paralyzed zombie walk. Every time I walk, I immediately want to start singing the song Thriller.!!!
MS has this thing called the MS Hug. Sure it sounds warm, wonderful and so pleasant because everyone loves a good hug but this is far from pleasant. It is so tight and uncomfortable. It hurts to breath. Imagine the one irritating relative that gives you the big bear hug and just squeezes you and refuses to let you go. The more you resist, the more he squeezes. You can’t breathe. That is what the MS hug feels like. Except it does not let up. It’s like they have a body odor and you can’t breathe and can’t tell anyone because you are polite. You are waving your hands and twitching, trying to get someone’s attention but no one is looking.
Now let’s talk housecleaning. I was really hoping that someone would be kind enough to step up and volunteer to help me out but apparently they are smarter than I am. LOL…. I am capable of doing it, it just takes me so long to do. It whips my ass, to say the least. I have figured out ways to make things easier for me but even those are taxing. For everything I do, I have to take the next day off.
So I guess that makes me allergic to housecleaning!!! And I highly doubt that there is a pill for that.. So if you come to my house and I am on an off day, please feel free to pick up a swiffer duster mop and get a Jumpstart on the dog hair or the dust bunnies. It would be greatly appreciated. I will not be offended at all. And you should not be either… We would be helping each other out.
I have this coloring book and pencils that I picked up while I was at the cancer center. I decided to give it a try the other night. It is a good idea to use your hands when you have MS. Well it is the first time I am permitted to color outside of the lines!!! Oh my lord.. I was so embarrassed but yet I laughed my ass off. It was sad. I was all over the place. If you know me at all, you know that I am a perfectionist and an artist.
My young grandkids did better than I did and I have their colorings on my refrigerator to prove it. But I have to admit it was a lot of fun just letting my hands go where they wanted to go. I am going to sign my name on it and put it on the refrigerator.. Why not?! I am even thinking about doing a couple more and sending them to my daughter so she can put them on her fridge. Maybe she will frame it…. Oooohhh
We all need to remember that if we can’t laugh at ourselves, then who will? I will always laugh at myself because I am one funny ass mutha effer!!!!