Let me tell you about myself.
I have vented, ranted, went on a rampage, cursed and used humor. I have told you about my current situation and about certain things that have happened to me. But I am seriously considering writing a book so I am going to use you as a sounding board. My book shall be titled, “Yet I rise”.. Allow me to explain.
I did not rise above the ashes, so I am not the Phoenix. However, I did rise above the blood and broken bones, so therefore I am the Bitch!!! No matter what I have been through, I rise.
I have been dragged through hell by my hair and yet I rise. I have been thrown out of a moving car yet I rise. I have flown through a windshield of a car yet I rise. Hell kicked me out for causing too much trouble!!! Yet I rise!!
I didn’t come from a very loving home. We moved around a lot. We never stayed in one place long enough for me to make friends. My dad drank and my mom just didn’t care. I was the oldest of three. My sister and brother were innocent in every way and could do no wrong. I couldn’t stand them even at a young age.
We received no hugs in our home but we received ass whoopins. Even in school, we received them. I should not say we, because I was the sole recipient of this wonderful gift. My mother was relentless with the ass whipping. She used her wooden spoons, hair brushes or whatever she had. My grandmother made her a board that said “Board of Education” and she used that religiously.
If I got in trouble in school, I would get a spanking, then when I got home I received another one. As I got older, if I were to get into a fight with anyone well I better hope that I won because if I didn’t then there would be hell to pay with my dad. You didn’t lose a fight!!! You may get into trouble with your mother for fighting but you don’t lose a fight!! You best beat the fuck out of your opponent.
Or you got an extra ass whoopin with a leather belt from your dad.
Yet you never received a hug. Ever!!! Our family was n a huggy family. We ate dinner together but that is all we did together as a unit. You ate what was on the table or you sat there until you d. My mom would wrap it up and save it for your breakfast and so on. Because you didn’t waste food. You just had it saved for you on the next meal. Don’t even think about adding ketchup to it either!!
I always had the feeling that I was not liked. My mom was really hard on me and not on the other two pissants that lived in the house. They were supposed to do chores in the morning before breakfast and school but they would find so many excuses to get out of them. Leaving me to pick up the slack because you couldn’t leave the milking.
Cows don’t wait and chickens don’t wait. So I can’t make them wait. I have to get all the chores done before I can leave for school. Regardless if my siblings are doing their part or not. Generally those assholes would sleep in because they just did not want to get up.
They would do the same thing when it came to the afternoon chores. Playing was far more important than the chores. My mom would rag my ass and I was just a little kid. The entire time my siblings would taunt the hell out of me, even though they were young.
The anomosity has extended from the childhood to the adulthood. Except now I am not forced to talk to them. Ever!!! They both use people for whatever they can get. They lie, cheat, use, and are just plain evil.
I know that I can sleep at night with a clean conscience. I have a beautiful heart and soul, whereas they are ugly through and through.