It’s been awhile since I have written anything here,and for that I apologize. I don’t know who I am apologizing to really because I am public. But for those that do read do read my posts,


So, as you are well aware, I have an aggressive form of progressive primary multiple sclerosis. Please do me a favor and educate yourself on this disease. Because MS is not the disease that Jerry Lewis has a tele-thon for. No I cannot walk it off, it is not all in my head, every persons ms is different, and I will not grow out of it.

The Covid 19 virus has finally plateaued, or so we all hope an pray. Most people are or have received the two required shots. I have opted not to get mine. This was a decision that was approved by my primary care physician. There are still far too many unwanted variables that both sides are debating on and it is not 100%. No thanks, I will wait.

The virus hasn’t helped things any. In fact it has modified them to a whole new level. I was feeling like a leper before the virus took place, even though MS is NOT contagious. I repeat,MS IS NOT CONTAGIOUS! Then along comes the virus and the excuses not to visit me are justified and excusable. But hey I am an introvert so I don’t like people anyways. It’s a win win.

But just in case anyone is wondering, I will not talk about my disease or how I am feeling. I will not bitch and moan about how it has robbed me or how it is unfair. Not once will anyone hear me talk about the loneliness and depression are haunting me damn near on a weekly basis. However, I have an awesome game face and no one will be the wisest.

Oh,I can hear some of you get up on your soapbox and state “hey the phone lines run both ways.You can easily call me first or text or email me. Blah blah blah.” True. But let me explain something to you. It isn’t that easy for me sometimes. So many times I get stuck on stupid.I literally forget how to do simple tasks.

I can’t talk sometimes. My hands or fingers will not work. Sometimes I lose my voice. Sometimes I forget how to text or answer my phone. It is not that I am intentionally being rude, I am truly unable to do the most simple tasks. But I very seldom will reveal my weaknesses or handicap.

My husband who is also my caregiver is stressed beyond belief because he just wishes someone would give him some relief from me. That is my next post. I am now going to be searching for and hiring a housekeeper and babysitter. If I dont do this ,my next step is placing myself in an assisted living facility. For a couple of days.

So, I am still here. Where are you?

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